Tuesday, April 03, 2007

apathetic
melancholic
nostalgic

gOsh! first time nako ni mag post diri! so please bear with me nalang..owkie?? hehe
to be honest, it was only because of last night's chat with maki that i remembered to open this site.


most of you may have already forgotten i exist, existed and still existing. i admit i haven't really been an "active ogilvian" even in the old days. though i was a member of the class, it didn't seem to me that i truly belong. as what ma'am cecil told us way back in third yr, we're just one class but we're divided into different groups. and i must say, i felt more that i belong ONLY in one of those groups but not in the class as a whole.it may not seem like, but, i felt i was just an outcast forcing my ass to be "One of yoU' and still, i couldn't. fitting in was very hard for me especially when insecurities set in. i mean, how could one hell of a bitch like me be standing in the same ground as the "achievers", the "geniuses", the "role models"?


and to mask those insecurities, i pretended to be carefree of all the things happening within the "ogilvian world". or should i say, the "honors class' world". pretention that became innate. too realistic acting that turned to be reality.



nothing but apathy.




graduation was the only sweet hope i thought could let me out from such unescapable pit.




i thought i'd be free by now but i guess i miscalculated the circumstances. i thought an escape from the four-walled room of highschool would save me from such suffocation and make me breathe fresh air but i guess i was wrong. right from the moment i polluted my mind with negative things about being a part of the honors class, i was already wrong.



and now, all i have with me are the fun, painful, happy, sad and unforgettable memories of highschool. memories that tell me i was never really the outcast i always thought i was. memories that convince me that right from the moment i stepped inside the 2-arrupe classroom, despite the icy-glances and sizzling mouths of the calungsod girls, i already belong and i always will.



so guys, i really am very sorry for being the insensitive, senseless bitch i've been. i know i couldn't go back and make up for all those times i missed but i hope i could still share my upcoming life's journey with you.. again, i'm sorry... and i miss you all!




apila pud ko ninyo sa inyo mga laag woi! don't worry, li na lgi ko magmind or maulaw even if ignon pa sa mga tao, "yuck! mga nerd mana cla!" hehe^^, Li btaw ko nerd! ehehe*peace*



09165319990--->>> basin nakalimot namo! hehe




MisS SedUctiVe,
-=NikaY=-

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